When I first heard suffering being talked about as a kid it was in church. I remember it being described as shorter periods of time that people go through, sometimes illness or persecution based, not long lifetimes, and always as a thing Christian's desired. Like oh, suffering it's this gift to be more like Jesus. I don't know maybe, I wasn't listen as well as I should have been I was a kid. But, every year around Easter, I would hear of people giving up things for lent in remembrance of Jesus's suffering. So for me being a Christian reconciling my views on suffering became hard, and confusing. Was it good to suffer? Or just not from illnesses?
Theories
Then came all the controversial theories from the peanut gallery, on why I was sick and what would heal me. Everyone wanted to put in their wise two cents. Some said naturopath's, others acupuncture, and others essential oils. Those are all valid options that are okay to discuss with someone who's suffering with a disorder. Those are not the suggestion people gave me. More often then not it's been controversial topics' like the following example: of whether or not getting a debilitating disorder was due to my sin. While just starting to deal with the fact that I was 18 and needed to learn to cope with these new pain disorders . I was volunteering at a church function, and I remember the father of one of my friends approaching me. He wanted to talk about my illness and give me his advice. But really he wanted to tell me how I must have done something wrong for God to be doing this to me, I must have sinned. He continued, to give the example of his wife getting breast cancer, and that after she repented for being vain she was healed of it. He then encouraged me to repent of whatever I had done. This is the worst thing I believe you could possibly say to someone who is suffering. These are not okay topic's to discuss with someone who is suffering. But let me be clear, I'm not saying we should be talking about suffering. It needs to be a topic, because we're suffocating in our closets. Suffering with multiple chronic illnesses is not my dirty little secret, that I need to hide. The world needs to learn how to better talk about suffering. Especially in the church. It's so important that if you are going to be talking to people about suffering, and God in the same sentence, you understand what he says about it. Like seriously Dude, It's not my fault.
Was getting chronically sick my fault?
Point being, there is a huge difference between suffering from diseases or illness, and the biblical suffering-as-punishment that comes to light in the old testament. Many biblical scholars would agree, that the bible is very clear that Old Testament punishment “follows repeated warnings against specific behavior. In fact, to be effective, punishment requires a clear tie to behavior. Philip Yancey in his book Where is God When It Hurts gives the example, "Think of a parent who punishes a little kid by sneaking up on them at odd times and giving them a whack with no explanation. It would do little good and produce a neurotic, not an obedient, child.” In the biblical stories of old, all are warned on multiple occasions and Israel is not left wondering “why?”. As Christians, when we talk about suffering its important to keep in mind that while he walked the earth there aren't examples of him teaching the suffering to accept their lot in life. Rather the new testament is full of examples where he healed the sick. Thus, we can hope and pray for healing. If we look further into the bible to John 9 Jesus answers the question of who sinned regarding a man’s blindness and he says, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this has happened so that the work of God can be displayed in his life”. To me this echo's Philippians 1:25 which I will touch on in a little more depth below. When you see someone struggling with a disorder you don't ask inappropriate questions, or make suggestions that make them feel like they're not good enough. When you hear of someone suffering it's hard to know what to know what to say, and often what not to say. Joni Earekson Tada stated in her book on suffering that, “when your heart is being wrung out like a sponge, an orderly list of “sixteen good biblical reasons why this is happening” can sting like salt in a wound. You don’t stop the bleeding that way. A checklist may be okay when you’re hurting in past tense; “Let me explain why this is happening” isn’t always livable. Answers, no matter how good they are, cannot be the coup de grace. Purified faith is never an end in itself; it culminates in God. – The problem of suffering is not about something it’s about someone. It follows that the answer must not be something but someone. “Knowing our Lord Jesus Christ” is keeping your eye on the sculptor – not on the suffering, or even the suffering’s benefits.” If you want to know what to do:
“This is what you do when someone you love is in anguish; you respond to the plea of their heart with your heart.” Joni Earekson Tada writes about following God’s example because, “If you are the One at the center of the universe, holding it together, if everything moves, breathes, and has it’s being in you, you can do no more than give yourself (Acts 17:28).”
Aside from being there for those suffering we should do more than the typical church answer of “I’ll pray for you” we should go so far to come along side those suffering, offering community and easing their burdens.
~ Elysia B
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