The 20th Treatment
The pro’s of this treatment is it works wonders on pain hypersensitivity, for that I am very grateful. So it’s been a few weeks since the last treatment and the fibromyalgia is still at bay. Thus, this Transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS) treatment is perfect for turning overactive pain centres down. It was successful in doing what it said it would do! The fibromyalgia muscle pain is down to a 2/10 daily and in remission.
Yet, as I sat at the table staring at the exit survey after my final treatment and I was the in a full blown pain flare. My head pulsating with electrical burning pain through my face and I can’t stop thinking about impending brain surgery. So, I sit starring at questions that ask me if I feel better or worse after all these treatments, and I’m dumbfounded. I feel both!?!?
The exit survey, on how I would rate my pain after the last 20 tDCS treatments, it gave a bunch of questions asking about general pain. The questions compared previous years to this year, which made me both confused and dumbfounded. Because you see, I have a rare disorder now, that I didn’t have in other years and was participating in a research study, in hopes that it would treat that worsening disorder ironically, it treated the other pain disorder I had been managing with medication for years.
Halfway through the treatments it looked like they were totally going to help, until we started lowering medications and then the trigeminal monster flared up and put an end to that. I have managed to stay off of the fibromyalgia medications but I can feel the neuropathic pains coming back and wonder for how long. I was never able to go off of the ones for the trigeminal nerve because the pain kept getting worse, and is continuing to impede my daily quality of life.
When medications fail you, and are no longer an option, and then when treatments also fail you, its hard to bare. As I end my tDCS treatments I have learned something new about the state of my Trigeminal neuralgia that I didn't know before, it is degenerating faster than previously thought. And, as my pain specialist says is more of a physical problem than chemical one. We know that now based on the pain not being turned down by electrical treatments (i.e. tDCS) or medications. Thus surgery is the physical way of dealing with it, so here we go going in may be the only option.
This treatment is one more thing that didn’t work, and that’s hard to deal with because the worse this disorder gets, I see my options shrinking around me. Yet, I tell myself it’s going to be okay in the end, because I believe in a really big God who’s got this, he knows how it will end and I trust that I don’t need to worry about it. I also don’t need there to be a ton of options, there just need to be a few really good ones, and even just one really smart one would do the trick. With where science is at these days, it’s always coming up with cutting edge new technology and advancements so maybe with more awareness, they’ll find me a cure?
Now, as my nerve degenerates I’m waiting to see a neurosurgeon to hear about surgical options. Apparently in Vancouver that means waiting for 45 months to get into a surgeon who understands trigeminal neuralgia? Is normal for Trigeminal neuralgia? I don't know. But, I do know multiple surgeries are not uncommon. The journey continues and there will be new mountains to face each day and that's okay.
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